The "illusion of protection" in unwelcoming systems is explored. Recognizing exhaustion, unlearning survival, and choosing self/belonging through remembrance and dismantling false safety are discussed.
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“There comes a moment on the healing path where you stop pretending. Stop negotiating. Stop hoping systems built on your erasure will suddenly turn and hold you with care.”
That’s the space this conversation with Bryana Clover cracked open — tender and raw, but deeply clarifying.
In this episode of Shut Up and Heal, we’re naming something so many of us have felt but didn’t always have the language for: the illusion of protection.
For years, we were told that if we got the right job, joined the right team, sat at the right table, we’d be safe. That mentorships, diversity statements, or community hashtags would shield us.
And maybe they did — for a moment.
But the body knows better.
Our spirit knows better.
That so-called protection was never built to actually protect us.
Bry and I went deep.
We talked about what it means to look up one day and realize you’ve built a life around a structure that doesn’t see you.
To carry the exhaustion of proving, performing, surviving.
And then — to unlearn all of it.
To choose something else.
To come back to yourself.
We also spoke the truth about how healing isn’t just about “doing the work” —
And yes —
It’s about burning some things down — ideas, roles, expectations —
to build something rooted in real belonging.
If you’ve ever felt the ache of betrayal by a system you thought would keep you safe…
If you’ve carried the weight of being the “only one” in a room built for someone else’s comfort…
If you’ve tried to outrun your body’s whispers until it finally demands rest…
Not as a fix, but as a reflection.
A place to exhale.
A mirror to remind you that you’re not alone in this unraveling.
There is power in seeing clearly.
Even when what we see hurts.
Especially then.
— Dr. D
🎧 Listen to “The Illusion of Protection” episode of the Shut Up and Heal (SUAH) podcast. wherever you get your podcasts.